BE CALM, BE HAPPY AND DO IT RIGHT!

Happy morning! The Ovulation days are here!

Wow these are the day to conceive and be in the act!
It feels like jitters and butterflies within!
It feels happy and cozy all around!

Well you guys know it all about the act. So I am not going to discuss how and what to do, instead I would like to touch upon few must haves …

Like I mentioned earlier – do not take this act as just a baby making act but indulge and make love! Indulge in a quick morning round or an extensive whole day steaming hot moments of togetherness! The more you are together the better are the chances of conception. :)

Even though everyone knows the rules of sex – the universally known pleasurable act, one needs to keep in mind the 4 KAMA MANTRAS OF CONCEPTION….

So let’s start with the first chant … Oooaaammm… ;) just kidding!

1. CHOOSE A POSITION THAT ENSURES A DEEP PENETRATION

The science of conception in Ayurveda suggests to choose a position that ensures a deep penetration. Also it is important to get in to the position where cervix is easily accessible. Though there are a lot of positions like Missionary, Doggy, Glowing Triangle and Anvil, that ensures these two mandates, yet all of them except missionary creates some or the other flaws/ doshas in the baby. Thus the sole position that Ayurveda suggests is the mundane yet effective - Missionary.

2. FOREPLAY IS A MUST

There is a witty yet funny quote:

“Go down a water slide without water and you’ll understand why foreplay is important.” ;)

Well it is important at the time of conception specifically as it creates a conducive environment for the survival of sperm.

Well it is said that, the more you enjoy and forget worries, the more happy sperms would be ejaculated, as oppose to shorter and stressed intimate time that leads to less number of sperm ejaculation.

Thus…

Think of it as fun time for both rather than focusing on the Finish Line! 

3. CONTENT FEELING IS IMPORTANT AND NOT THE ORGASM FOR WOMAN.

There is a myth across that, “great sex means having at least one Orgasm”. However, Dr. Sathe suggests to focus on contentment and satisfaction rather than focusing on the climax.

Well if you get one, there’s nothing like it, however, it’s not a mandate scientifically! 

4. SINGLE DROP OF SPERM DOES THE MAGIC.

Ta-da! Don’t all of us know this?

We do know this yet many of us tried the abdomen uplift trick post the act.

After reading this trick it made real sense to me. By lifting your abdomen and placing a pillow below the thigh after the act gives gravity to the sperm and makes sperm’s movement into the cervix easy. It has purely psychological connect says Dr. Shipra.

On the contrary, Dr. Sathe says this act doesn’t have any scientific roots. People follow all type of tips and tricks like no getting up after the act or sleeping in a single position and keeping the abdomen lifted whole night. Sometimes if the semen comes out of the woman’s body – it is perceived as a personal defect and affects emotionally!

Please don’t bother yourself with this small thing.

As per both Ayurveda as well as modern science a single drop of semen contains 10 million sperms. So even if one gets up after the act, doesn’t follow the abdomen uplift tip and move around after the act the chances of conceiving will be equally high!

This brings me to the end of this article, where I would like to stress upon the fact that….

“This can be your last sex session before any changes in yourself.”

Once conceived you will be a TO BE PARENT!!! So spend these moments wisely ;).

BE HAPPY AND POP A UNICORN!

रिchie

5 VISIBLE CUES FOR DEDUCING MAGICAL WINDOW OF OVULATION

Deducing ovulation is as magical as conceiving a Unicorn baby! The process of ovulation has its own mysteries and joys. Even though some facts remains same for deducing ovulation, however it happens on different day and different time in each month.

Let’s quickly see what Ovulation is?

Ovulation, as it is defined, is a small window of opportunity of 24 hours to conceive when one of your ovaries releases an egg to fertilize. Once the egg is released from your ovaries it has a lifespan of only 24 hours to get fertilized. If no fertilization happens then the thickened lining of the uterus sheds and the process of your cycle starts.

Isn’t this a really small window? Hacking the lucky 24 hours code was a big learning for me, as it was the biggest mistake I did in my process of trying. We tried our chances on nearby days before and after but never on the 24 hour radar ;), until I started to learn about the visible symptoms. :D

So here are the 5 visible cues that will help you to crack the mystery of this magical window ;).

Once I learnt to crack the code I was puzzled with the very question of:

How to time the act in the lucky window of 24 hours?

Well, you know how our office hours are, how your mood fluctuates and on top of it the pressure of conceiving on the very day…huh! It literally gave me goose bumps.

But here is the good news and my great learning!

Hurrah! God is fair on that front ;)

So if you indulge in the act 5 to 3 days leading up to the O-Day the chances to conceive are as high as 33% per day as sperms waits in the fallopian tube for good 4 – 5 days to date the freshly released egg!

Once the egg meets the sperm on its way to uterus lining the magic begins!!!

Enjoy deducing the magic window!

Enjoy making unicorns!

रिchie

DECODINGING AAHAR– DIET TO BOOST THE CHANCES!

I think all of us must have heard a colloquial phrase at least once in our life

“kya kha k paida kiya hain?” (Translation: what did your mother eat, when she was pregnant with you?)

This sounds funny but it does has its roots in science. What every individual eats makes every cell in the body, including Sperm and Ovum.

Image credits: Popping Unicorns

Well this means our husbands also need to take real care of what they are eating for at least 3 months prior to conception. Haha! You got a chance to cut down those junk calories for your husband as well!!!

Jokes apart ;) When I spoke to my friends about Pre-conception diet – most of them had not witnessed any changes in their pre-conception diet, which made me wonder, why?

Well, in India, most of the doctors suggests to be on a balanced diet when trying to conceive.

What is this balanced diet?
A balanced diet, as mentioned by Dr. Sathe, is a complete meal that includes vitamins, minerals, protein, good fats and carbohydrates in an adequate level. As designed by our traditional system, our Indian daily meal i.e. Roti, Sabzi, Dal, Rice, Salad and Curd, does include all the essential nutrients required to maintain good health.

While balanced diet twice a day does its job, what one needs to focus on is sufficient supply of Folic acid, Vitamin E, Iron, Vitamin C, Vitamin B12 and hydration, so that the multiplication of cells required to generate Sperm and Ovum happen seamlessly.

So here comes the list of super foods and fruits that contain the baby making nutrients:

• Folic Acid: The wonder cell development nutrient is found in Leafy greens like Spinach, Sarso and Methi; Beans, Peas and Lentils; Curry leaves, Citrus fruits like Orange and Strawberries; Other fruits like Papaya and Banana as well as Nuts like Almonds and Peanuts. They can also be found in Avocado, Lady Finger, Flax seeds, Cauliflower, Beets and Corn. To maintain quality and quantity of Sperm , a man should consume at least 2 bowls of Urad dal every day, as mentioned in Ayurveda.
• Vitamin E: The fertility vitamin is found in Almonds, Pistachios, Black currents, Apricots, Spinach, Sweet Potato, Avocado, Mango, Kiwi Fruit and Rice Bran oil.
• Iron: This important multifunction mineral is found in Soybean derived products like Tofu, Lentils, Beans, Peas, Flax Seeds, Green Leafy Veggies, Tomato, unpeeled Potato, Prunes, Dates and Mulberries.
• Vitamin C: This wonder vitamin is available mainly in citrus foods like Lemon, Orange, Kiwi, Black Current, Guava, Melon, Amla, Strawberries and Tomato. Surprisingly Papaya and Cauliflower are couple of other foods that are high in Vitamin C.
• Vitamin B12: The DNA synthesising and nerve vitamin is found in Dairy products, Eggs and Fortified Cereals. For non veg lovers sea food is filled with this wonder vitamin.
• Hydration: It is important to be well hydrated with at least 3 -5 litres of fluid per day. In addition to water you can choose to hydrate with coconut water once every day, which not only hydrates your body but, it also flushes out the toxins in the body. Trust me it worked really well for me!

Like I said earlier, diet structure in India is designed to support intake of healthy nutrition, and that is the reason not many women and men change their diets pre-conception in India. However, what one should say NO to is, the addiction bucket. (link to lifestyle changes) This addiction bucket should be stopped at least 4 months prior to conception so as to support healthy cell development.

While, what I mentioned above is more of a pragmatic approach towards conception, however, there is an alternate theory that suggests pre-conception diet, as per the stages of egg development, for women. This alternate theory, though very logical, its application is not very ideal.

So how does this alternate approach work?

It works on three main factors i.e. Food constitution | Climate | Time of Cycle

• Food constitution: Many times we have heard from our elders that a particular food has a hot constitution (गरम तासीर) or a cold constitution (ठंडक तासीर). But what each constituent has in the house is left to one’s assumption ;). So here is a complied list of day to day food items that fall in each of the food constitutions.

Image Courtesy: Popping Unicorns

Time of the cycle: Starting from the day 1 of your cycle, whatever you consume has an impression on your health, as well as, on inception of the unicorn as mentioned in Ayurveda, says Dr. Shipra. So, what should be consumed in each stage of egg developmental cycle?

Info graphic Courtesy: PresentationGo

• Climate: Climatic conditions matter a lot! If one is staying in cold climatic conditions and have hot constitution foods in moderation, it will cause no harm, while if the same is done in moderate or hot weather conditions it will back fire during the early stages of pregnancy. So please, keep a tab on what you eat in a particular climatic condition!

So what’s the bottom line?
No Binge but only balanced diet for 3 – 4 months prior to conception in order to get the healthy Sperm and Ovum.

A balanced diet should include all round nutrients. Include Grains, healthy Vegetables with Leafy Greens, Lentils – especially Urad dal for Men, 2 portions of Milk, one portion of Curd, Salads and one Fruit every day!
I truly believe that, a balanced diet together with good thoughts and a good lifestyle makes the journey of conception much easier and fun!

Enjoy food! Enjoy making unicorns!

रिchie

VIHAR – LIFESTYLE – BEYOND BIRTH CONTROL!

Once in the mind-set of being a parent, span of the flamboyant lifestyle is really short!

Work hard and party harder becomes a distant dream!

You must be wondering – What?!

I am not kidding!

Inception of a unicorn demands much more than just stopping the birth control ;)!

Ayurveda suggests to have balanced body constituents, of both to-be father and mother, to beget and this balance has its roots in the way one chooses to live!

Our Social, hep and demanding lifestyle sometimes becomes hurdle in conception thus creating a catch-22 situation for the couple. Adapting your lifestyle slightly will have a better chance of conception.

Yes it is just adaptions and not a complete change! Believe me! :)

Here are 8 magical adaptations to conception! Cheers with an icy mock-tail ;)

NOTE: THESE ADAPTATIONS ARE SUGGESTED FOR BOTH MEN AND WOMEN BY DOCTORS TO BEGET A HEALTHY BABY!

1. GET CONTROL OVER STRESS

Well! I really don’t have to tell you how stressed today life is with all the gadgets, 24x7 availability and our expectations from self and the world around us!

We get up in the morning with 1000s of TO-Dos top of the mind and sleep with lakhs of thoughts! It becomes imperative to get a control on this part of life. What one needs to do is start the quest of Inner Peace and be a Kung-Fu warrior! Haha!

Work life is one of the major source of stress levels, reportedly.

Image courtesy: Popping Unicorns

Thus, tackling it first should be the utmost priority. The trick to do so is to prioritize and complete the errands within the stipulated time. Like the famous saying goes “WORK NEVER ENDS” – one needs to focus the energy on the most urgent and important tasks of the day and complete your day within office hours! This will not happen with a whim of the wand – it will happen overtime, but you need to start as soon as you think you are ready for Parenthood!

 Another way of achieving better stress handling is through good sleep! Good 8 – 10 hours’ sleep takes care of stress levels in certainly the magical way. Frankly speaking, I struggle to find my sweet spot sleep after being a parent. I would suggest you to relish this time to sleep well and sleep stress free!

2. CURB YOUR ADDICTIONS

MOST FAMOUS | KNOWN | FEARED FACT is NO ADDICTIONS!!! Especially when everyone has one!

Image courtesy: Popping Unicorns

The effect of addictions on inception of your Unicorn is what matters at this stage of a TO-Be Parent.

Drinking and smoking are known to have worst effects on quality of Sperm and Ovum, while Caffeine, Sugar, Junk food and over exercise reduces the chances of conception in the very cycle.

While smoking as an addiction needs a serious help other addictions can be curbed by choosing a substitute and a healthier option – for example: Mock-tail over cocktail or hard drinks in a social setting, small cup of coffee with very low content of caffeine – there are many ways to deal with the addictions if one really wants to!

Make sure you curb your addictions at least 4- 6 month prior to conception. 

3. INDULGE IN HEALTHY EATING

Healthy and mindful eating are talk of the town now a days! One can Google and just get a complete chart of healthy eating. However what one needs to keep in mind while trying for conception is – Schedule | Nutrition | Pre-Natals says Dr. Shipra Katiyar

Image courtesy: Popping Unicorns

Schedule: With our hectic work and personal life, scheduling food intake takes a back seat. The work demands often leads to intake of food at irregular hours. Which results in discomforts and lifestyle diseases. Thus, right time is imperative to gain benefits of food!

Set a routine for your breakfast, lunch, evening snacks and dinner - and stick to it!

Nutrition: This is most important element of healthy eating. Choose to eat nutritious food! Getting over the junk hogging and indulging in food full of vitamins, minerals like calcium and iron takes a good year as per my personal experience. Ultimately, the world of Junks is so tempting and mouth-watering ;) I will discuss the Aahar – Pre-conception Food guide in next article.

 Pre-Natals: Doctors suggest to have Folic acid as the core-natal supplement for mother at least three months prior to conception. Folic acid consumption aids in having a good and fertile ground for the baby to grow, eliminating the chances of having any birth defects. Mother can consume other pre-natal supplements – but make sure you have at least 5mg supply of folic acid consumed per day.

Fathers-to-be are suggested to intake Ashwagandha under Ayurveda to sustain high energy, strong immune and healthy semen production while giving the 4 month sperm development cycle a conducive environment. An average intake of 5 -10 gms of Ashwagandha daily for 90 days is suitable for healthy lifestyle and sperm generation. 

4. WEIGH RIGHT WEIGH HEALTHY!

Right body weight plays a vital role in generation of baby producing elements.
Weighing down during pregnancy is a trend worldwide! But is it a trend that one should follow blindly?

Image courtesy: Popping Unicorns

Well! Doctors says that a BMI between 20 and 24 is optimum for conception. The height to weight ratio describes the need to achieve a balance. The BMI Categories are:

• Underweight = <18.5
• Normal weight = 18.5–24.9
• Overweight = 25–29.9
• Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater

If you want to weigh down before pregnancy, you should look to achieve a healthy weight within the healthy BMI range defiantly not anything less than that!

5. SAY NO TO BIRTH CONTROL AND OVER THE COUNTER DRUGS

Birth control pills modify the egg formation cycle and thus it is important to stop it way in advance. Dr. Shipra Katiyar suggests to stop it 3 months prior to your plan of conception, as it takes at least 3 months to get your cycle to normal. Other birth control methods have no significant effect on Ovum or Sperm generation and thus could be used till the D Date arrives ;)

Image courtesy: Popping Unicorns

When trying to conceive it is important to avoid any types of self-medications as it may lead to miscarriage without you being aware of it. It is difficult to deduce pregnancy until you are 4 -6 weeks into it and thus taking this small preventive step proves to be helpful for many to-be parents.-says Dr. Sathe.

6. TRACK THE CYCLE

Well, tracking your cycle is no rocket science, every girl is born with a mental log of their cycle. However, it is important to track the dates of the cycle as it helps to deduce the ovulation period correctly. For average 28 –30 days cycle, Ovulation is observed to happen in between 10^th and 15^th day. Wow- that’s lots calculation ;). You can get the complete deducing cues here.

Image courtesy: Popping Unicorns

Technology is a boon! With so many mobile applications and at home tests available one can easily keep a track of the cycle without fail. The only thing you need to do is make an entry without forgetting the dates ;)! That is a task, isn’t it!

7. TIME YOUR ACT

Doctors suggests to indulge in the act in between 10^th and 15^th day for optimum results. Couples come under pressure if they have to plan this impromptu, impulsive and spontaneous act.

Image courtesy: Popping Unicorns

The trick is to spend a quality time next to each other - watch romantic movies, cuddle for hours or just enjoy time alone with each other before the act, so as to completely indulge and enjoy the act.

All things set and done, the same feel and pleasure of just being you with your better half won’t be available in plenty, post conception ;).

8. BEWARE OF THE HEALTH ALARMS!

Doctors suggest to get the initial health check-ups done for both mother and father to-be, so that they can decide the line of treatment and consultation at the time of conception. The health tests initially feels overwhelming due to its overall connect with illness, however consider these tests as a sign of better future health and family as these are done with a motive of birth defect prevention.

Depending on the results, Ayurveda suggests detoxification procedures that balances the doshas and toxins of the body so as to avoid any passage of defects to the baby.

Image courtesy: Popping Unicorns

So these tests includes the set of tests for:

• Lifestyle diseases – BP and Diabetes,
• Hormonal Balance – hypo and hyper Thyroid,
• Disorders – Sickle test, thalassemia, HIV, HBSAG
• Basic information like blood group and Haemoglobin test

These adaptations work very well towards a new you! A mother / father you!

Adapt well! Cheers to Unicorn (definitely with a mocktail ;))

रिchie

PS: Thank you S NAGALAKSHMI a guest unicorn with artistic inclination on board. Nagalakshmi believes "art doesn't have any limitations", which is why, she expresses herself in strong yet contemporary and joyful illustrations. 

PRE-CONCEPTION THINKING - WHAT TO THINK BEFORE YOU STEP UP TO PARENTHOOD?

I am happy that you have decided to be a parent and want to build an army of your tiny tots running around the house ;). The thought itself is powerful for the conception!

Talking about conception, Aahar (Diet), Vihar (Lifestyle) and Vicahr (Thoughts) forms the three main constituent of the healthy living as per Ayurveda. These three constituents plays a crucial role in baby building mechanism as well.

I will discuss these three elements in a series of articles across different phases of motherhood so as to avoid information overload ;).

Let me start with the most powerful element of our life – Vichar i.e. Our Thoughts!

It is said that thoughts have the power to create anything and make it possible – and in this article our thoughts are completely invested into creating a unicorn baby ;)

Thoughts and conception has a very strong connect yet they are rarely discussed together during the journey of the parenthood.

Let me tell you a story from the Mahabharata. The story is of the birth of Dhritarashtra, Pandu and Vidura. This story symbolises the strong connection between thoughts and conception.

It tells us the tale of the great sage Vyasa of Hastinapur and his use of siddhis(powers) to impregnate the widows of Vichitravirya - Ambika, Ambalika and servant maid of Ambika. As per the epic scripture, Vyasa was summoned by his mother, Satyavati, to perform niyoga and impregnate widows of Vichitravirya so as to give produce an heir to the throne. During this process, of niyoga & impregnation Ambika closed her eyes out of fear whereas Ambalika became pale. It is said that due to these thoughts of the mothers, Dhritrashtra, born of Ambika, was blind and Pandu, born of Ambalika, was anaemic and pale.

At the request of his mother, Vyasa gave another chance to the future of Hastinapur through Ambika and thus agreed to perform niyoga the second time. However out of fear, Ambika sent her maid servant. The maid servant, with the intention to fulfil her duties and dharma, served the sage with full devotion by being calm and composed. Vidura born of the maid was the exact replica of dharma and dedicated his services to the throne throughout all his life.

This story in being symbolic, tells us that Ovum and Sperm can feel the vibes that the couple sends. This message is very powerful and apt with respect to our lives!” – says Dr. Sathe.

It also tells us that both wife as well as husband should be ready for being a parent. Any half-hearted feeling or fear may lead to chances of mishaps and complications.

Being ready means stepping into the mind-set of conception.

Samskar – the major rituals of the Hinduism is reported to have a ritual of pre-conception called Garbhadhana. This ritual was designed to positively condition the mind of the couple through mantras and with pure yet sensual appearance, so that the process of conception is seamless without any stress and negative thoughts.

A clear understanding from the ritual is one should be stress-free, calm & composed, full of positive vibes while indulging in the act of baby making. There should be no scope of mind wandering and negative thoughts – says Dr. Shipra Katiyar.

Well, it is much easier said than done! So here goes compiled list of 7 practical thoughts for you, before getting into the process of conception, which had proved helpful for many of my friends.

1.      THINK BEYOND YOUR FAMILY DESCENDANT

The common thinking across religion and culture is to have an offspring that would continue the family bloodline. However our scriptures like the Mahabharata suggest thinking about a leader like Kunti did. Kunti  thought of powers of Sun, Dharma, Wind and Indra to give birth to Karna, Yudhistir, Bheema and Arjuna.

Thus Pre-Conception Thought should be about:

The Inception of a healthy and happy human|  Inception of a social and good person| Inception of a person who will be a national leader or expert in a specific field or we can simply think it as an act of giving birth to either a Superman or a Superwoman ;)

 image courtesy popping unicorns

2.      THINK OF A UNICORN BABY ;)

Well I read that a Unicorn has the power of being magical, wise and strong at the same time. Thus, one should definitely think about popping babies as magical, as wise and as strong as UNICORN!

 image courtesy popping unicorns

3.      ENJOY BEING PARENT-TO-BE:

Each pregnancy being different, every parent-to-be should enjoy the process of becoming one! After all, not everybody is that lucky. The process of growing a bump, feeling of the little jolts inside us and mainly the eternal joy of feeling the growth of your own baby inside of you, from being the size of a poppy seed to that of a small pumpkin, is just exquisite! I don’t have words to describe it!

 image courtesy popping unicorns

4.      YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS BEAUTIFUL AND SO WILL BE YOUR OFFSPRING

It is very important to appreciate yourself as well as your relationship so as to transfer the same self-esteem, same strength to your offspring at the time of conception. A personality affirmation makes a couple sexually confident, thus resulting in high and fruitful fertility!

image courtesy: funny quotes with cuss words

5.      THERE IS NOTHING CALLED “GET PREGNANT FAST”

Getting everything immediately and at a click of a button, is the habit today. Couples translate this habit in their expectation of conception as well! The chances of you getting pregnant as soon as you stopped the contraception is as low as seeing a Unicorn ;). (Just exaggerating).

But patience is the key! Just by trying for 3- 6 months doesn’t mean that you are infertile! It might just have happened that, either you must be trying on the wrong days or you simply didn’t do it right?!

Well good news is - doctors suggest minimum trial tenure of 1 -2 years before you start your investigations regarding the infertility treatments. So, be calm and keep on trying! J

image courtesy: Unicorn Vectors

6.      DON’T GIVE IN TO SOCIAL PRESSURE

Societal and familial pressure is the toughest to fight. Once the people around you know that you are planning your family they start keeping a track of your cycles – strange but very true!!! Cycle after cycle the parents of the couple get tensed and stressed about their heir. However, couples themselves need to cut off this pressure by explaining the practicality to their parents – who are reasonably understanding and well educated. Persuade them that today’s erratic schedules and lifestyle just needs more time! – Blame it on the external factors ;).

image courtesy: Movie Dil dhadakne do

7.      DON’T PRIORITIZE PREGNANCY AS THE ONLY MOTIVE OF LIFE

Like every other phase of life, pregnancy is also one of the phases of life which will happen in time. Stressing your life with pregnancy as the only motive will not help you to conceive; rather it will make it a much further event. There is no harm in expecting a positive result at the end of the cycle, however indulging in the act every time with only motive and no happiness would lead to disappointments!

image courtesy: funny minion quotes

So,

Think well!

Think positive!

Think Unicorn!

रिchie

WHEN TO SAY ‘I DO’ TO PARENTHOOD?!

Childhood to adulthood, Adulthood to parenthood?!

A dilemma | A Fear | A leap of faith!

I read a funny yet scary quote, which says

“Parenthood the scariest hood you’ll ever go through”

...and internet is full of them! It did scare me when I was in that phase, but reality is, I still wanted to be a parent, I still wanted a cute little chubby baby who will touch my face with his or her small hands and will smile back to me!

Husband and wife both live a mod life and follow...

Work hard and party harder as their work life balance mantra.

Definitely, both have apprehensions about being a parent! Be it Career, stability in life, Family pressures and peer inspirations. All of it adds up to the anxieties and results into a sane couples with cuckoos in their heads. And if marriage has been more than 2 years than just imagine the people around going desperate to see you as a parent!

image courtesy folomojo

Well! We all find ourselves in this situation and it’s definitely difficult to escape!

I have complied a quick go-to list (you can also use it as an excuse for the escape ;)) for couples who are under this dilemma of whether “I am ready or not!” (yes! the quotations are on purpose)

So here comes the magical list….

1. TRUE DESIRE TO BE A FAMILY!
   

   

   image courtesy Filmi Cloud

   
   First and foremost both of you needs to have the desire of being a parent. Let it be a family pressure or be an inspiration from your peers, if both of you do not have the desire to be a parent at this stage of life then everything will fall flat! – says Dr. Shipra Jaiswal. It is always two of you in the equation and the individual mind-set of ‘main’ has to change to ‘hum’ - says Dr. Sathe

image courtesy guilty bytes

2. WELL NURTURED RELATIONSHIP

courtesy daily.social

The next in line is very important – the phase of your relationship. If both husband and wife live a parted or really hectic life due to the choice of their career, expecting them to co-create after just one or two years of marriage is just a fool’s paradise! Even though love marriages are at rise people need to enjoy each other’s smelly moment! If any one of you feel shy while doing these natural things in front of your significant half then you need to reevaluate your relationship and establish it to be really strong that it can take the burden of these smelly bumpy moments. ;)

Each couple has some aspirations for themselves be it going around the world or being together for few more years and give time to themselves! which is definitely a right thing to do before being a parent and losing yourself to the little monsters at home!

3. PHYSICAL STABILITY

image courtesy Khoobsurat movie

The fear of infertility has so deep roots in Indian family mind-set that it almost stereotype a couple to be infertile if they don’t have babies after 2 years of marriage! This fear has its roots in the medical logic of higher the age higher are the complications says Dr. Shipra Jaiswal. With today’s right to educate a girl and her right to be independent, motherhood age has shifted from 20s something to early 30s for the first child and maximum 35 years for the second one. While doctors believe that fathers biological clock runs out post 40 – so you have time till he is 39 and a half-year old ;).

If you are under this age limits and you are clear about how many children you want, you are allowed to delay your decision to enter parenthood ;).

4. FINANCIAL AND CAREER AND ACHIEVEMENT AND ….STABILITY

image courtesy bollydailougues

It is the most famous stability which couples are in quest of!!! 

This stability has many facets, some couples look for a stable point for both of their career while some look for stable finances and some look for settling with their own house and car! The list of this aspirational stability is endless. It is important to achieve a point in your career and be stable to provide best of best childhood to your baby(ies), however this one needs to be taken with a pinch of salt!

Our dreams are big and our aspirations are endless that doesn’t mean you need to keep a phase of your life on hold! - says Dr. Sathe.

Everything falls in place once you become a to-be parent! Like one of my friend who is an expecting father now said “I will always be unstable with my finances, that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have kids”, or the other one who is father of a 4-year-old said “You never achieve everything – you need to manage it somehow!”

Thus if your only reason for delaying is your need to achieve more – I would say you should appreciate your achievements until now and give yourself a break of parenthood – little god only knows what he/she has in store for you! ;)

5. EMOTIONAL STABILITY 

image courtesy bollywoodshaadis.com

The next favourite of all is emotional stability! What is this about?

Well, this stability is anchored in the thought of unknown!

Fear for upcoming changes in lifestyle,

Fear of additional responsibility of a new life and how one will handle this new life

To fear of losing freedom and one self by changes in your body, behavior and lifestyle - tricks both men and women across age groups.

This is the only change in life that people are skeptical about and think 1000s of time before really going for it! If you feel these changes in life is labelled as restriction by you and/or your significant half then you should give time to yourselves.

Remember you have time till he turns 39 and a half and she turns 34 and a half! ;)

6. HAVE A STRONG SECURED SUPPORT SYSTEM AT HOME

image courtesy youthconnect.in

It is important to have a strong support system at home to take care of your baby and your life! With limited maternal leave and no paternal leaves in India one needs a strong support system at home.

Majority of cases the grandparents play a crucial role to take care of the little ones and act as the primary support system, however considering the shift in parenthood, age of grandparents’, their health and their priorities also matters. They also have a right to live their own life!

Thus, it is important to have an alternative support system at home as well. A nanny or a full-time maid who will take complete care of your baby(ies) without harming them! Frankly speaking, I had natural apprehensions against day-cares and nannies thus I wanted a good secured system as well for my house.

With the globalization and advancements in the technologies one has access to CCTV cameras and many more spy monitoring systems to soothe an obsessively secured parent inside us!

Well that brings me to the end of the checklist.

Though this is the checklist what I curated for myself as well but from mine and many of other parent’s experience not everything can be ticked to say ‘I Do’ to parenthood without being too late!

image courtesy SCOOPWHOOP.com 

So be wise, evaluate your parameters and be happy while you pop a unicorns in time!

रिchie